Wake Up and Smell The Ruin

Tournament in the Mountains

Session 13

While seeking out a rig to help pull the Hogan Roller from the hole in the earth, the party meets “Wreck’em” Rob, a tow-rig driver. He notices the size and gumption of Funky and SkiMask, and makes them a deal.

If they enter the Neon Spine Arena’s partnered wrestling tournament happening tonight, he’ll tow their vehicle all the way there, for free.
They agree, and upon reaching the arena, they see a massive four-armed alien crash land and demand a place in the tournament, despite not having a partner to enter with. He strong-arms a wimpy fellow named Tommy into joining him, and the tournament begins.

The rules of the Neon Spine Arena are as follows:
-Killing is OK
-Cybernetics are OK
-No weapons or items are allowed
-No Projectiles are allowed
-If you leave the Arena, you lose.
-If you injure the audience, you lose.

First, SkiMask and Funky face off against Chillboy, a goopy, thin little crystal-faced alien man, and Irondog, a quadrupedal hound with six eyes and chainsaws for hands. They square off, then something in Funky’s blood erupts into his mind, and allows him to swap his consciousness with that of Irondog. In his new body, he immediately leaps into the crowd and tears apart the father of a tater-tot-person-family. Chillboy, feeling detrayed, begins to run, but is stomped by SkiMask and wrestled down. Funky, now back in his own body, grapples the confused Irondog to the ground, aided by tournament staff.

The next match features Q’zarr against the Crimson Fools, local favorites. They are a pair of dark red strongmen who seem to be able to regenerate their limbs. Q’zarr, however, ignores their strengths, and after tearing off the head of one and the arms of another, seals a victory for himself, while his partner cowers in the corner.

Next up is SkiMask and Funky versus Q’zarr and Tommy. Q’zarr steps to the pair with his massive, tree-trunk-like legs and begins to grapple Funky. SkiMask dives on top of him, attempting to squeeze his pea-pod-like-growths on his head. He releases a pair of egg-like pods that slime to the ground. He smashes SkiMask while Tommy climbs a pillar and drops cinder and ash down on all of them from the fires meant to light the arena. Soon, after smashing the eggies and Q’zarr’s face, SkiMask climbs and maneuvers around him, while he swallows Funky whole, and SKimask follows inside. Funky bursts forth from him, tearing him in two, and his alien liquids spatter all over the arena. Funky and SkiMask recieve a gratified thumbs-up from Wreck’em Rob, who bet on them the whole time.

The pair win the prize money, and Rob is so pleased with his own winnings that he offers to tow them all the way to Neon City if they want.

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