Wake Up and Smell The Ruin

Tournament in the Mountains
Session 13

While seeking out a rig to help pull the Hogan Roller from the hole in the earth, the party meets “Wreck’em” Rob, a tow-rig driver. He notices the size and gumption of Funky and SkiMask, and makes them a deal.

If they enter the Neon Spine Arena’s partnered wrestling tournament happening tonight, he’ll tow their vehicle all the way there, for free.
They agree, and upon reaching the arena, they see a massive four-armed alien crash land and demand a place in the tournament, despite not having a partner to enter with. He strong-arms a wimpy fellow named Tommy into joining him, and the tournament begins.

The rules of the Neon Spine Arena are as follows:
-Killing is OK
-Cybernetics are OK
-No weapons or items are allowed
-No Projectiles are allowed
-If you leave the Arena, you lose.
-If you injure the audience, you lose.

First, SkiMask and Funky face off against Chillboy, a goopy, thin little crystal-faced alien man, and Irondog, a quadrupedal hound with six eyes and chainsaws for hands. They square off, then something in Funky’s blood erupts into his mind, and allows him to swap his consciousness with that of Irondog. In his new body, he immediately leaps into the crowd and tears apart the father of a tater-tot-person-family. Chillboy, feeling detrayed, begins to run, but is stomped by SkiMask and wrestled down. Funky, now back in his own body, grapples the confused Irondog to the ground, aided by tournament staff.

The next match features Q’zarr against the Crimson Fools, local favorites. They are a pair of dark red strongmen who seem to be able to regenerate their limbs. Q’zarr, however, ignores their strengths, and after tearing off the head of one and the arms of another, seals a victory for himself, while his partner cowers in the corner.

Next up is SkiMask and Funky versus Q’zarr and Tommy. Q’zarr steps to the pair with his massive, tree-trunk-like legs and begins to grapple Funky. SkiMask dives on top of him, attempting to squeeze his pea-pod-like-growths on his head. He releases a pair of egg-like pods that slime to the ground. He smashes SkiMask while Tommy climbs a pillar and drops cinder and ash down on all of them from the fires meant to light the arena. Soon, after smashing the eggies and Q’zarr’s face, SkiMask climbs and maneuvers around him, while he swallows Funky whole, and SKimask follows inside. Funky bursts forth from him, tearing him in two, and his alien liquids spatter all over the arena. Funky and SkiMask recieve a gratified thumbs-up from Wreck’em Rob, who bet on them the whole time.

The pair win the prize money, and Rob is so pleased with his own winnings that he offers to tow them all the way to Neon City if they want.

Oh God Not The Bees
Session 12

After a few more exchanges with locals and the purchase of some questionable powder, the party heads off from the Golden City in search of Bill and their settlement money over being tested against their will by ex- PRISM-employee Harlock.

The entire truck fell straight into a big trapped hole in the road, and the group was telepathically taunted by a bizarre toddler-voices in their minds, then ambushed by a bunch of weird baby-geezers. After a daunting fight with these gross things, they’re attacked by a big brain-headed horror, which continues to telepathically communicate in an unsettling toddler’s voice.

They smash the toddler into bloody pieces and the weird naked-baby-geezers back off. The beast seemed to be controlling their minds, and they then lead the party to their underground city. In pitch blackness, they lead them around the town and show them the Bright Place, an anomaly that the party asks to learn more about.

Beyond a giant vault door is a strange 2000’s-era settlement, fresh and new, and full of clones of some guy named Jebediah. The clones, mostly defective and melty, tell the group that there’s another exit from the vault, and then warn the team about ‘55’, a dangerous clone apparently lurking somewhere in the colony.

After smashing a bunch of mirrors, the party finds 55, who darts toward the secondary vault exit, and proceeds to blast thousands and thousands of bees out of his mouth. The party survives, and then assess how the hell they’re going to get the ’Roller our of this godforsaken mess of a place.

The Attack on Fort Filmore
Side-Session 3

Lizard FIlmore and The Duskmen offer Cyra protection, but ask The Midnight Runners for help in defending one of their borders from mutant assailants and raiding parties on their north-eastern border.

assembling all the Midnight Runners they could find, the group faces off against the threat, and are battered by an onslaught of big, huge mutants, nasty feral beast-men, and even a truck full of greasy raiders with assault rifles and high-powered weapons.

The two gangs, working together, eliminate the threat, and receive a strange call regarding their new friend Cyra…

Puppetty Horrorfest In The Dark
Side-Session 2
The Midnight Runners met up with a few other extended members, Fastghost, Barack Iguana and ASAS who agreed to take Cyra to a safehouse owned and operated by The Duskmen, a fellow gang beyond the city’s limits.

When the party mushes themselves past the border, they find themselves seeding through a ruined old factory, and are attacked by horrible brain-creatures. These beings manipulate other odd aberrations in the pitch-dark of the ruins, and seem to bleed maggots everywhere. Gross.

Just as all seemed grim, the beasts are assailed by a team of strangers, let by a man familiar to Barack Iguana— Lizard Filmore; fellow reptilian president, and leader of The Duskmen.

Throwdown in a Shitty 24-hour Convenience Store
Side-Session 1

While in search of midnight snacks, as the Midnight Runners often are, the grocery store they’re in gets blown up by a bunch of jerks looking for a girl with a baby.
Raptorbo and Doug are unnerved by the lack of tact that these guys are displaying, and decide to beat the shit out of, and murder, all of them. Before their leader’s head gets turned into homemade pizza, he squeals that they were sent by an anonymous benefactor to retrieve that baby, because the baby is somehow ‘special’.
The woman, Cyra, and her baby Bean, are helped out from beneath a grocery store shelf that fell on her, and she offers the Runners a job; to bring her safely to the edge of the city, where she’s been offered sanctity by the Duskmen.
They ride off into the night on their dogsled.

Golden Showers, Pt. 2: Explosé
Session 11

As the group prepares themselves to leave, SkiMask goes looking for the gasoline they’ll inevitably need, while the others shop around.
SkiMask stumbles upon a gasoline cult, worshipping a big pool of the stuff, in a dark alleyway in some destitute part of the city. He’s spotted, and cornered by the cultists, who has some interesting abilities which they use to trap him. Luckily, his pals track him down (following the trail of gas and people’s stories about the weird fucked-up-looking-guy wearing the ski mask), and help him face the cultists. Explosion Cactus sparks, and explodes, and nearly kills everyone.


They crawl out of the alley before anyone can investigate, but before exiting, manage to get 2 full tanks-worth of gasoline.

Golden Showers, Pt. 1: Bar None
Session 10

The gang arrives in the Golden City, to the west of the mountains, en route to the Neon City in the south, where they plan to meet Bill and get their settlement money.
They head to a bar in the eastern side of the city, and Barack looks into PRISM’s ‘Alpha Program’, for special individuals like himself.

After talking shit, buying hats, selling ‘magic bullets’ and making- friends- fools of themselves, the group also met Vance, a coolguy who needs help getting to the Neon City, away from PRISM’s eyes. Funky agrees to bring him with you, and he agrees to pay for your services once he’s made it to his place in the city.

You leave for Neon City in two days.

Skyfall by Adele
Session 9

Funky Harrison’s fungal growth drags itself to the boat, along with a passed out Eddie and SkiMask. They push along through the frigid waters until they reach Freon Shore, and they pass out upon reaching the village. Over the course of the next two days, Eddie and SkiMask rested, while Funky’s mushroom grew and Explosion Cactus hung around the herbalist. At the dark of night, a large, terrible shooting star smashed to the ground about half-a-mile from the town. The adventurers awoke, and immediately sped their way towards the calamity. Along the way, they call up Adam from PRISM, and he warns them not to approach it; he’s heard reports of similar creatures before. Regardless, they continue toward the crash, and Adam says he’ll try to get there as soon as he can. Upon arriving there, they found a crater, where two wicked creatures are waiting within. They climb out, and sprout black, tar-like wings, and attack the adventurers. The adventurers dispatch the creatures, and as PRISM appears, they are met by Adam. The scientists of PRISM take samples from the creatures, and then look over the party to make sure they’re okay. The group saddles up with Adam, and they head to the Golden City where they can get gas, then plan to make their way south to The Neon City, where they’ll be met by Bill to get some answers and some credits.

Isle of the Accountant Bastards
Session 8

As they wasted away a day sitting around Funky’s house and not having any motivation to do much of anything, they decided to go and see if they could track down the kids who were taken into the sea by that giant fish. After getting a raft from a guy who lived in Funky’s neighborhood, they pushed off to the Frigid Sea in search of children, in the dead of night. They found an island about a mile off the coast, and on it stood a large office building, with a few lights on. After managing their ways up to the fourth floor, one illuminated by light, they were promptly attacked by a group of scrawny mutants, armed with staplers, pens and briefcases, who were being directed by their gross boss a few floors up. After knocking quite a few of them out, their boss came down to see all of the commotion. He puffed up into a hulking monster, and handled Funky by throwing him down the center of the building. Eddie and SkiMask also wound up broken, thrown down into the lobby from the fourth floor, and after Explosion Cactus hid itself among the rubble, it snuck down to the lobby. Unable to carrying them, he used a spray bottle he bought from the herbalist in the city on his allies. The mushrooms on Funky’s back grow, and proceed to come to lumbering life; picking up his two unconscious comrades and carrying them out of the tower, before collapsing on the island’s shore. The sun rises, and Explosion Cactus is left alone with his fallen friends on the cold, jagged beach.

Mutant Ruins and the Prism Boys
Session 7

After the group saved the shore-side settlement of the fish monster, they settled down for a bit and took a little day trip into the ruins by the Shining Lake, while Funky stayed behind and hung out with his kids. In the ruinous wastes, the group hopped and fence and went further into the unknown. They came upon a radioactive giant creature, who was screaming and vomiting and chasing two soldiers in silver armor. The soldiers were in a run for their money, and the party rose against the giant to protect them.


Thanking them, the soldiers, including Adam Armuro and Captain Dezzick Marshall gave the group a ride to the Golden City’s east side. On the way, while healing up, they learned about PRISM’s Alpha Program, their special blood, and were also told that Zig, from the mango forest, is a PRISM operative too. The group gets brochures about the Alpha program, and a map that will tell them a bit more about the surrounding area. The PRISM convoy is heading back east, so they get into the armored vehicle and drive off. Suddenly Skimask realizes this scenery looks familiar; and climbing up a cliffside, finds the burned ruins of his old mansion. He remembers his former life. He remembers Gnosbrock, that dick who burned down his house and ruined his life. He remembers chasing him down this road. He screams at the sky. Afterward, the armored truck drops them off at Funky Harrison’s, and they return to Funky’s house to see what’s up.


I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.